But don't trick yourself into thinking our summers aren't hot. It's like 40 degrees C in some places in summer.
Why Baby Boomer Women Should Look For Lasting Love With Blue-Collar Men
Winter doesn't exist; it doesn't get below 55F, ever. I think we last had a freeze it hit 32F for about 5 minutes maybe years ago. Ding ding ding ding Just an anecdote, but a few months ago I was visiting my friend at Columbia med school and was asking him how the women were there. He told me that most women don't seem to care that he is in med school I have heard drastically different things from other friends in med school in the Midwest NYC is the problem.
Up here in alaska tell a girl you're a welder she's gonna think manly man and good money. I want to know what sissy job these NYC girls would find more attractive than welding. I commented below but damn, you just haven't met the right woman yet. Do you really want to be with a woman that prioritizes things this way? Hell, he makes more than I do. You don't have to move to canada just move to a blue collar town. Philly and Baltimore are right down the road from you, even the NY suburbs would probably be fine. Hell NYC is fine, you just can't expect the girls who have convinced themselves they're going to marry a hedge fund manager to "settle".
I know welders; I work with welders. And every single one I know of is either married or engaged. And with one or two exceptions I'm jealous that they managed to find better women than I do. So the problem isn't you or your occupation, but rather in the women you're dating. Where are you meeting them? Stop dating women who are the white-collar, well-off types looking for a man with a similar place in life, and start looking among women in similar places in life to yours.
That's about the best advice I can offer you here. If ALL the women you've dated turn up their noses at your job, you're most likely looking in too high a tax bracket. I work a lowly job myself, while also attending a very good college, and so get to see the social behavior of both sides. I also grew up in a rural blue-collar place, and have seen a LOT of blue-collar guys land blue-collar girls. The problem where I live NYC is that all the blue collar jobs are handled by immigrants.
Nothing wrong with that, but I'm immediately associated with them and also I can't date most of those women anyway, many of them don't speak English well and their male acquaintances do not take kindly to Yanquis talking to their women. I'm from Staten Island, and many, many people here are blue collar workers meaning they do physical labor, such as construction and many are cops and firefighters, so definitely not the most educated.
Nothing against them, just saying it isn't a white collar profession. Very few girls here would rule it out. I think you are dating the wrong women. I mean playing odds and all. Listen to the above. Hang out in Queens or SI and you will meet plenty of women who come from families full of cops and firefighters who won't care what you do, as long as you work. Look at how people view plumbers. To many, they're the scum of the Earth, some poor fool who cleans up our shit, poor wretch. Meanwhile, that same plumber just finished changing out of his work clothes and is about to hop in his Mercedes to head home to his house that's bigger than yours.
What area of NY do you live in? I've lived in Sheepshead Bay, Brooklyn, and I've met plenty of lower-class native-born folks, or at least second-generation immigrants with less restrictive behavior. My own dad was a college-dropout turned furnace repairman and he landed my mom almost effortlessly, lol. She was a low-ranking secretary type. They met at church, actually. Are you religious at all, or do you belong to any kind of social or other kind of group?
Perhaps you could seek out women at events like concerts or religious meetings. I suppose there's the possibility that you're attending principally events attended by the kind of girls you went to school with, rather than the kind who work jobs similar to you I suppose there's the possibility that you're attending principally events attended by the kind of girls you went to school with. I'm a Catholic, but all the church events are now in Spanish and Latin women do not dig gringos. Also my tax bracket is getting up there, it's higher than some white collar jobs which really confuses things.
I was using tax bracket as shorthand for "girls who want that white collar lifestyle and aren't interested in blue collar men because they assume that those guys are poor and shiftless," lol. I guess googling events in your area that might attract other blue-collar types is the only thing I can think of. Sounds like you should be focusing on this part. And being an entrepreneur is pretty badass. So if you find that women start to shut down when you mention that you weld, maybe you should start talking about your goals to bring the conversation back up.
But if he told these women this and they stayed, it would suck to find out down the road they weren't into you, but your job. Right now you are in your twenties, I am guessing, and the gals are using the wrong indicators of success. In a few years you will have your own place, some nice cars and your own business. At that point, you will be awash in gals who are facing 30 and fearing they are going to miss out on the marriage sweepstakes.
Of course, whether you should marry such a gal at that point is something you will likely be reconsidering; why marry a 30 year old gal now that you are a success, when that same gal likely would have rejected you when you were 23 and penniless? If they were not willing to be around for your struggle, they should not expect to have any part of your success. I am Geeky, and when I was younger, women didn't really pay me much attention; and I was turned down often.
I had to shut down my online dating profiles as I got too many messages, I had dates lined up for weeks at a time. All the hot, shallow woman, exactly the type that turned their noses up at me when I was younger, were all the sudden flipping their hair and smiling at me. It was really great fun for awhile I very soon learned who I was attracting. The general profile was a woman in her late 20's to early 30's who was all the sudden done dating bad boys and losers, who woke up one day and realized that the party days were over.
Their priorities had shifted from douche alpha males who spent more time at the gym than at work, to those that would make good husbands, fathers, and yes, providers. At this point I had some decisions to make; Though dating all these super hot younger women was fun, I found that my attraction to them ran about as deep as their personalities. After a few months, I started to get very serious and intentional about who I dated, and started only seeing women who I really wanted to be with. That is where my choices started to get a little controversial. I eliminated any single moms, I eliminated any divorced women, I eliminated any women with a promiscuous past; and I eliminated any woman without a career.
After all that looking, dating, etc. I did in fact fall in love again, and I am happily remarried to an amazing woman. She is highly intelligent, sweet, kind, warm and caring, She is a nurse, and funny enough I had known her for many years and she was a great friend. Seriously do not date women who would care about this. As long as you have common interests and goals what you do for a living should make little difference!! I'm a college educated and well cultured woman and I would give little thought to what you did for a living. Women who care about things like your job and what kind of car you drive etc.
Wealth and clout do not create happiness!! Well, I don't really mind what a guy does. As long as you express that you're smart, I'd say you'd be fine. Besides, do want to fall for someone who is so shallow and judgmental. What if I told you your insecurities are yours alone? You now work honest work and make an attractive salary.
If you feel insecure about what you do, that little guilt in your eye will turn you off to women. I've heard a great quote that might liven OP's mood a little, "son, someday you'll meet a woman who makes you happy. Then she'll leave you for a man who is better than you in every way. This man will be a welder. Fellow welder here, keep your chin up OP. So what is wrong with a white collar male that works hard with his brain instead of his body? I'm a former blue collar and am now white collar. White collar work is every bit as difficult as manual labour.
Sure, my joints may not be destroyed after 30 years of work; but that's one of the big things that turned me off from trades. Do you think Albert Einstein didn't work hard? Do you think George Orwell didn't work hard? Do you think any leader of a nation doesn't work hard? Most of the guys that I know that went the blue collar route did so because they didn't want to put in the effort to go through university. Kinda feels similar to if I resented a woman because she wasn't a secretary Just a personal preference.
One I would not have had if he had shared the workload of the house with me. If we're equally tired from doing the same job, why should I be the only one to slave away at home? In the past, my brain couldn't accept the role of housekeeper because they were doing the same job as me, and we were equally tired, so he needs to do half the work. I resented him and his job because my father worked his ass off every day.
I grew up on a farm an completely understand working your ass off every day. Aside from working my family's farm I had a couple part time jobs on others' farms. Having said that, I now work in a nicely air conditioned office as an IT analyst. I work just as hard, just more mentally than physically. By Friday my brain is fried and I need the weekend to recover. Perhaps your previous guy really did do the same job as you, but I think it's important to recognize that not all office jobs are equal effort and that many of them can certainly qualify as hard work. Not every woman is like that in the NYC area.
NYC is a big place with a huge variety of ideas. Maybe you are just barking up the wrong tree skirts? I really can't stand it here much longer as I've stated in the thread elsewhere. It's so shallow and the divide between blue and white collar jobs is apparent. If I change my online dating profile to "lawyer" my inbox suddenly starts getting messages without fail. If I tell the truth I get one every few weeks. You don't decide what is boring for other people. It could be the most interesting thing in the world to you, and that's great, but it could be boring to any number of people.
I enjoy playing games where you can control a nation Like Civilization, Hearts of Iron series, etc , and they're really interesting to me, but I also understand that most people are bored by them. It's just a fact of life that not everybody has the same interests. I just don't understand this line of thought. Millions of blue collar workers are in happy relationships. I don't see how you can blame your job. Women generally want to marry up, so for many of them a guy in the trades is marrying down.
I unfortunately have heard quite a few women complaining about only getting hit on by guys in the trades. She may be completely wrong about your character; you may be an incredibly hardworking and mature man, but keep in mind that she's trying to figure this out based on the information she's picking up from you. Do you tell them why you're a welder? Obviously you had the intelligence to make it into college, hopefully one with a solid academic reputation, and then you consciously chose to pursue a career in welding. Also, a lot of welders are in that career not because of choice, but because tradework was the only thing they could do.
This is not your situation, but she won't know that unless you paint her a picture of how you got to where you are. These women may very well be the "type of women you really want in your life" but you have to help them see that you are where you are in life because of the conscious decisions you made and not because you're an unintelligent and uneducated grunt. I think you're dating the wrong kinds of women.
There are TONS of girls who find a man who works with his hands, and then comes home all sweaty and manly at the end of the day, sexy. Maybe part of it is also that you're leaning into it a bit. Meaning, you're now worried about telling them about your job, so you get a look on your face like you're embarrassed about it.
My recommendation would be, next time you're going to tell a woman about your job, paste a big smile on your face, and tell her in one sentence that you're a welder and you love it. You love the work and coming home tired and you can't wait to start your own shop so you can work for yourself. Say all that in a sentence or two, before she even has time to react. If, after that, she still is all disappointed because you don't have an MD, then she's not for you. You only need a few in your lifetime to have a great romantic life.
Most dates are shitty. Move on and let the bad ones roll off you. If she's worth it, you shouldn't have a problem. I went to a college-prep boarding school and have three college degrees. He is also one of the kindest, most stable people I have ever met. Relationships should be about shared values and compatibility, not jobs and money, IMHO.
May I ask why some women look down on blue collar men? In particular educated ones? Is it a bragging rights thing amonst their girl friends? Social status and class really.
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- Why Baby Boomer Women Should Look For Lasting Love With Blue-Collar Men | HuffPost.
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If they both went to college, they'll have similar experiences and will hang out in similar social circles. Then there's the money. I honestly don't know. Maybe they assume educated men make more money? I did until I realzed my SO makes twice as much as I do. There is somethng to be said for higher education as far as organized, intellectual thinking and conversation goes.
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But I prefer my guy's silly sense of humor and the fact that he is so good with his hands. Imay be able to talk about an array of psychological disorders or how to best embalm a body, but that doesn't help when my car needs to be fixed or I need to build a shelf Don't date women like that. But, when you do bring up your job be sure to mention underwater welding. I'm a pipe fitter and I've felt the same sometimes, I say if you look down on me because of my job I want nothing to do with you. Then I drive away in my range rover or one of my 4 bikes. He's the best man in the entire world.
I think most woman like myself understand that a man with a great personality is better than a man with a great salary. I have a really confusing and hard-to-explain job, so I sum it up as "QC Manager". If anyone pries any more than that, I get into the specifics of my actual job and unless they're a Physicist, they're lost. Try something along the same lines.
Honestly though, if a woman is that concerned with what kind of job you have, not how well you're able to provide for a family, but the social status itself, she's probably not the kind of woman you want. Do you want someone to be with you for money or do you want someone that will contribute to your life together as an equal?
The older you get the more quality of the man stands out. Not all women are like that. Personally I think blue collar dudes are the best! There is a stereotype that I'm about to play into and obviously not everyone fits into it. But there's always something that feels strong about a hard working man inside and out. Dirty work, rough hands, strong arms, the attitude, the gentleness.
Like he could figure anything out, and build whatever he wants. Welding is also a wicked cool line of work. I am not knocking anyone else's line of work, or in anyway suggesting a historian or doctor couldn't have the same type to traits that I described. As someone working icf construction currently, I understand. They won't say anything bad but you can see them imagining telling their friends and family what their bf does. And what makes your job so awesome sale's assosciate at forever 21? I'll be over here dating real women. Wow, where are you meeting women?
They sound really shallow if all it takes to turn them off you is the fact that you're a welder! At least it's happening on the first date so you aren't wasting any more time than necessary on these fools. There aren't many reasons why women worry about that stuff and none of them speak well to their character, know what I mean? You'll meet a woman sooner or later who will appreciate the hard work you do and won't look down on you for it.
A man who can work with his hands is hot. I personally am more attracted to blue collar and I am sure I am not the only woman to feel this way. Either you are dating the wrong kind of women or you are presenting it the wrong way. For me, its not about what they do. If you are settling because you don't think you can do anything else, or are too lazy to get a new job, then yes, that is a turn off.
If you are doing it because you like it and have goals and ambitions, no problem. You don't want to date women who are a ignorant and b money-grubbing, anyway. I think your job sounds like hard work, and it's manly, so that's sexy to me. I'm not really sure why they care so much. As a female myself, I don't give a damn what my guy's job choice is, as long as he has a job. And if it's a well-paying one, more power to him.
I don't give a damn what he does lol. Sorry you've met so many shallow ladies. It appears that the women you go on dates with are after social status. My best bud is an equipment operator and has no problem getting dates and my cousin is a broke-ass drywaller with a beater truck in impound with an attractive girlfriend. Both guys are blue-collar. I don't work a blue-collar job, but I have many friends who are linesmen, construction workers, bricklayers, etc.
These guys all also make much more than I do as a graduate assistant getting my PhD , although they do work their assess off and I sit in an air conditioned office reading and writing. You make great money at least in the geographic area I live in it's great money and you have a job you love. It probably isn't your job, but your presentation.
If we were on a date hypothetically, since I'm a heterosexual male , and I asked you what you did for a living, what would you say? That's not going to snag any girls, because they probably hear welder and think some guy in a greasy shop in the middle of nowhere. On the other hand, you may say "I work with metal. It's really fun and I love it. I want to open my own shop soon" so on and so forth. One way to show a girl you are doing really well for yourself without sounding arrogant is to say something along the lines of 'I'm saving up to open my own business".
Someone living paycheck-to-paycheck doesn't have that luxury. I hope you get some good advice. Just stop and think is it more plausible that no nice, cute, smart girls are in to guys with blue-collar jobs, or that you're having bad luck with girls due to some other unmeasured variable?
Occam's Razor, my friend. The simplest answer is usually the correct one. Not all women are turned off by that kind of job. I think welders, machinists and construction workers are sexy as hell. I want a manly man and I'm sure I'm not the only one that feels this way. There are women who judge men based on their career aptitude or ambitions.
If they do not like you for who you are or what you do, they are not right for you. Don't lie about it. If you enjoy doing it, and it's paying your bills, then hang with it. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders but have had your confidence busted by women who turn out aren't right for you. You're doing a hell of a lot better than most if you're pulling in good money and not in a ton of debt.
Don't worry about phrasing it as "blue collar", it's your work, your career. The more I think about your predicament the more I come to the question of how you're saying it. If you just say "Well I'm a welder. Because then you're not inviting the conversation to go forward. It sounds less like your job is unattractive and more like you're not passionate about it. Show her you love your job. I really like it, it pays the bills, and I get to have list off advantages you like. I think about it like this: If I were on a date with a guy and it was quiet and we were having trouble breaking the ice due to jitters and awkwards, I'd eventually drop the "So what do you do?
I don't know anything about welding, and I don't want to come off like an idiot and ask something stupid or weird.
The solution to NYC’s man drought? Date down
I also don't want to seem like I'm trying too hard or being fake if I just force the topic. So it's just a matter of inviting conversation about it instead of just brushing it aside like it doesn't matter to you. Because, obviously, it does! We can still be very ambitious but money or prestigious titles are not necessarily as important to us as much as finding someone who understands the importance of loving what you do.
Kep telling women what you do be proud of it! If a women can't see that your a skilled man and you have your shit together then screw her. Girl has to like you for who you are not because you make loads of money. Plus if you can weld good you can make so real good money 85k even! Hell I know a guy who runs a junk yard and makes loads of money. A bit late to the game, but scrolling through I haven't seen anyone throw this out there yet:.
I wonder if the disappointed reaction is more because the job itself, from an outsiders perspective, isn't a particularly fascinating one. One first dates especially, "what do you do for a living? If these women don't know a lot about it in general, they might just assume it's really uninteresting and nothing to talk about, and start wondering, "oh crap, what else do I ask about it? Well that's one things off the list of possible things we can talk about,". Maybe in the future when it comes up, go straight into why you love it and tell a really cool story or something that happened at work?
That way they can see you still have the passion that makes it interesting to talk about, like any other job. Being a Welder is an awesome job. I have great respect for people who work with their hands. Its respectable, honest work. If the ladies you are dating seem to think that It sounds like the sort of thing where you could lose a limb, and I'm really, really not into dating guys who do dangerous shit.
Must be dating the wrong women. You love what you do and it allows you to support yourself? Your job involves a freaking torch! That's way more badass than most professions. Fuck that, being a welder is bad ass. And if you like your job and are making a good living, fuck it. Either you will find a woman that likes you for you, or you will be single and you can enjoy life. Being single isn't as bad as everyone says. I travel a lot way to much for my job and it is hard to keep a relationship, but at the same time, I love my job and I don't really care about being in a relationship anymore.
If I find a woman that respects that I have to travel, but I love my job, then awesome. I love my life. I like blue collar guys, as long as they have a steady job and they love what they do. My dad never went to college and he has owned two successful businesses, both in blue collar fields. I have a great respect for hard working guys. Also, my best friend drives a log truck, he absolutely loves it and I think it's awesome. You just have to find some ladies who have a different mind-set. You should definitely be looking at this as a positive. If she hears you aren't some rich, white collar schmuck because she has some fantasy idea, let her be disappointed.
They're looking at the superficial aspects of a possible relationship. That's obviously not valuable to you, which means you aren't compatible anyway. Enjoy the relief they're giving you by being so openly shallow. Am I the only girl who almost prefers a guy like that? You're more likely to make much better money, work your own hours, and not be in thousands of dollars in college debt.
Not to mention if later on you have a family or just a house of your own you won't have to pay for the other "blue collar guy" to come fix your problem - you can do it yourself. I'd also like to mention that maybe it's just me right now in life, but I really don't care what career a guy is into as long as he's happy and willing to work hard for it. It's his choice in what he wants to do with his life. Would you want to tell your friends you are dating an accountant or a welder? Even if they make the same amount of money. First, good for you on finding something solid and that you don't hate.
I dabbled with the thought of different trades and would love to pick up welding. Some women will get turned off on what you do thinking it's grunt work. You wouldn't want to be with them anyways down the road. Since you have consistent work, now would be a good time to better yourself in other areas to become a "more interesting man".
The Truth About "Mixed-Collar" Dating — From the People Who Make These Relationships Work
I don't know how you present yourself but just making sure you clean up and wear nice and well fitting clothes. You can exercise, read, or pick up some hobbies. Even use your skills as a welder to create art. I've seen camshaft lamps, engine block wine holders and coffee tables among other things that are sick. Whatever you do end up pursuing, be proud of it. Have them see you work a blue collar job and that you're not a blue collar guy. For me, occupation does not matter.
As long as you have initiative to work your way through life the best you can and make yourself better is fine by me. The fact that you are doing what you love and making the best of it is really attractive. My father was a mail carrier his whole life. He is one of the greatest men I know and because of him I don't judge potential boyfriends on their occupations. Women are uninterested in blue collar workers because they put the pieces on how you got there themselves. If you explain that you went to college, but found something other than a desk job that is more satisfying and lucrative than the typical path, they will, most likely be understanding.
Especially if you have ambitions to open your own business. Just because a women cares about what you do doesn't make her shallow. If a woman doesn't want to date you because you're a welder, she's too high maintenance anyway. I think blue collar workers and men who fix, build stuff and work with their hands are HOT. I wanted to figure out why. At first he thought it was just a big city problem — perhaps more educated women than men were drawn to New York, where he lives, or cities such as Los Angeles or London.
The numbers are pretty much the same across the United States. Across young people, age 30 and under, [there are] about four college grad women for every three college grad men. In many cases, this gender gap is even bigger in rural states than in urban ones.
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In the US, he writes that among to year-olds, there are 5. We are seeing a gap in the UK too. Last year, a record number of women outnumbered men , with nearly 58, more women than men. He thinks one of the drivers of the so-called hook-up culture is the number of men who have found a wealth of available women to choose from.
She is mainly attracted to Oxbridge graduates, she says with a small laugh. That indicated there is a preference for similarity. There is very strong preference for similarities along a range of attributes, such as age, height, occupation, interests. The increasing prevalence and efficiency of online dating has also had an effect, says Birger, because of the filtering tick-box nature of it or as Evan Marc Katz , a dating coach whose advice I like to read, warns: In the US, among people aged who do not have a college degree, there are 9.
So the dating world is just as hard for those blue collar guys. One of my bits of advice in the book is that I think we all need to open our hearts and minds to dating across socioeconomic lines. I refer to these as mixed-collar marriages. You see it much more in the African American community, where the gender disparity in college education is more extreme — you certainly see more educated women married to working-class guys.
There is also evidence to suggest that couples in which the woman is more educated than the man are happier. One study of more than 1, interviews with couples found that in relationships where the woman was more educated than the man, they were more likely to stay together than in couples where both had low levels of education, or where it was the woman with the lower level.
In the past, couples where the woman was better educated were more likely to divorce than other couples, but no more. Is this mostly down to changing attitudes?